Lupus SLE

Lupus is killing me with fatigue. Lately I feel like all I want to do is sleep. I am ignoring other things that need to be done and replacing it with sleeping.  My apartment needs to be cleaned, laundry needs to be done and I can not get motivated to do any of it. I have to make myself do it tomorrow I suppose....I love my husband, but I would really like some help from him sometimes. I can not get much help without an argument or rolling of eyes and a ticked off attitude. I feel so guilty....Maybe I am wrong to ask him for help around the house. I mean he does work and I do not. My mornings are full with homeschooling but my afternoons are free. If I wasn't so darn tired......I just find it funny that my husband has all the time in the world for golf, video games and surfing the internet, but no time for helping me.  Maybe I shouldn't ask for help? Sometimes I feel like apologizing that I am not always feeling good...but it's not really my fault and it's not something I can change. Well, now that I have vented, I am going back to sleep.

Life with an Aspie

So as I mentioned, my son (age 10) has Aspergers. I knew from the time he was born that something about him was unique. It was something in his eyes.  He also seemed to be sick a lot as an infant. As an infant and toddler he was a challenge to say the least. He never seem to want to sleep, he screamed in my face all the time for no apparent reason. I immediatly thought "Autism"...but he started speaking and walking and reaching other milestones at an appropriate age. As he got older, I noticed that he did not like people too much. He liked other kids but not adults. If someone said hi to him he would growl at them, make no eye contact and not speak.  He actually would tell me "I don't like people. Only my family." When  school started it got worse. Teachers would complain to me all the time about his behavior. In first grade he received ISS 3 times. My son never understood what he did wrong. To him the fact that he poked a kid meant he wanted to be friends, it was not meant in a mean way. At first I was in denial, even though I knew something was wrong deep down. Finally I woke up and started listening to the teachers. At home I noticed he had difficulties as well. He has to have an order to everything. Even if the order makes no sense...and God forbid if you messed that order up!! He is quick to anger and will often hit himself when mad.  He walks on his toes, he is terrified to ride a bike, he hardley ever wants to leave home, he is a hypochondriac and on and on. I will never forget when the hypochondria started....he was 8. He came in my room one evening and asked me how he could tell if he had been poisoned.  Alarmed I asked him why and his response was because he was sitting in his room and his butt felt funny. After questioning him it was discovered that his butt had fallen asleep. LOL. But this started frequent hypochondria espisodes. Anyways, I worked with his school near the end of his 3rd grade year to get him some help in school. Despite the schools intentions, I decided I was not going to go their "special ed" route. I decided in December to homeschool my child. I was nervous at first but I do not regret my decsion. It is the best decision I could make for him and his education.  I love my son so much. We have a bond that can never be broken. Everything I do in my life is with him in mind. Although.....I keep checking for gray hairs everyday because life with an Aspie can be challenging!

My Life in a Nutshell

I thought I would start a blog and see what happens. It may be good therapy...So I was born an airforce brat. Born in England but spent most of my childhood in Anchorage, AK. Growing up in AK was different. I love when I tell people I grew up in AK and I get all the stupid questions like....Do they speak English there? How does it feel to be back in the US? Did you live in an igloo? Did you ride dog sleds? Are you an Eskimo? Anyways, you get the drift. Now to my current life.....I have been divorced 2 times...yep that's right. I am married for a 3rd time. My husband now is in the Army. I love him dearly. I have 2 boys. One from my first marriage and one from my second. Dustin is 14, he currently lives with my parents. It is a long, involved story in which I will blog about another time. And no, he was not taken from me, I was not a druggie or unfit to care for him. It was a choice....like I said I will explain another time. Sean is my 10 yr old with Aspergers. I just started homeschooling him a couple of months ago when I realized public schools pretty much suck for kids with Aspergers. Will blog about that too later :)  I am 34 yrs old and I have no life. I pretty much homeschool in the mornings, nap or read or watch TV in the afternoons and cook dinner and clean in the evenings.....fun stuff.  Sometimes I feel lazy.....but I have Lupus and I have to remind myself that rest is an important part of my day......So until tomorrow......